my husband is so nice to everyone but me

Sometimes when things get out of hand, your husband can say things that wounds your soul, even shake you at the core. Building a successful marriage requires plenty of effort and hard work. 1. Whatever the reason could be, try to get to the bottom of it and apologize to him accordingly. The motive behind it is to get you to grow weary of the relationship and break things off. Related Here is what to do if your husband never tells you how beautiful you are. Maybe its not just a feeling, if you can clearly see hes more complimentary of everyone else then its going to make you feel unvalued. I have a lot of thinking to do. This is something that your husband MUST change or the relationship is over. His Ego Feeds on Compliments Coming Back at Him. Youll see if hes messaging another woman, how often, what apps hes using etc. That may be all he needs to change. My advice is that you get acquainted with topics that interest him. Remember that you are as important as everyone else and remember to take care of your own needs. Let him know which types of compliments you like to hear from him. But by the end of our lunch (where he was our server), hed asked me for my number. He wants to improve his behavior but due to a lack of commitment on his part, it doesnt materialize. She told me shed run into him and hed begged her to call me. The point is to make him undestand the feeling. Do you really want to devote your life to someone who literally can't be bothered to GAF about your bad day? He may have seemed like a decent and nice guy before you got married, but once those vows were said, his attitude towards you, 4. 3. That look on your husband's angry face, when the two of you . Everyone loved him when they met him at least until they got to know him. 3. You can blame it on his ego, search for reasons to explain it, and generally try and find a way to explain why he behaves like this. He may not feel. The world seems to have turned upside down. Welcome to r/relationship_advice.Please make sure you read our rules here. He was going to be so caring and all over you. He actually told me that my husband could not possibly not know my birthday or the kids birthdays or our anniversary, and he's just teasing me, joking. Both begin to appear once a couple becomes distressed: 1. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future. Men who suffer from low testosterone can become irritable, angry, and depressed; they tend to transfer their aggression to their wives and kids at the slightest opportunity. It might be that he genuinely doesnt know that complimenting other people and not you makes you feel bad. I had the Three Compadres (taquitos), and my husband ordered the Chimichangas plus 1 ground beef taco to try. Initially, things didnt start this way in your relationship; your husband was everything you wanted in a man. What You Can Do When Your Husband Doesn't Compliment You. You can see who his friends are on Facebook, and draw some conclusions on whom he might have cheated with. See, when you are with a narcissist, they get upset with you for doing anything for yourself. When your partner seems angry most of the time, it can have a number of effects on your relationship, including: Damage to a feeling of safety and trust. Is there a reason for this or a bad sign for our marriage? He knows that you can achieve your dreams, goals, and ambitions if you want to. #3. oliviajuliette said: Hello everyone, My husband was diagnosed with alzheimers in 2014. Sensitive. Our marriage is not as bad as it was a year ago, but it feels like a cold war right now, neither of us really understand the other. Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. ). Your husband will have to pay you child maintenance (assuming you will be the resident parent) and you will be entitled to child benefit, probably child tax credits and maybe working tax credits too. Overreacting. Get him to seek professional help but if he is unwilling to change, Id advise you just walk away before things get awry. I hate to break it to you but it is possible you have found yourself stuck with a man who, cares more about his needs in life than yours. Are you wondering why hes acting this way? It is also, possible that he could be taking a cue from what he witnessed at a friends place. However, some people are needier when it comes to compliments and they know that the best way to get more compliments is to give more out. Everybody's wrong sometimes, and everybody cries sometimes (so says R.E.M.). And people think he's so wonderful. 2. But inevitably, something happens and they recognize that you are in fact a flawed human like everyone else. Others are still enamored with their false selves, so it makes it far more exciting to the narcissist to get supply from these people. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Husband Compliments Everyone But Me! "Just be nicer and we'll be OK. That's . If he can't fix this with you and with a therapists then maybe he needs to lose you to finally wake up. Lets talk about it. This kind of man is an abuser whose aggression is not limited to his wife. My husband used to be very jealous and controlling, but we have navigated through that, and he has gotten over these issues. There are high chances that you got to this page because you have been going through hell in the hands of your supposed loving husband, and you want to know why your husband is mean to you and nice to everyone else. 2. Id advise that you explore why he resorts to selfishness and work things out. If your husband is a water torturer he might be exhibiting these behaviors: Abusers in this category frustrates their partner but pretend like they have not been mean in any way towards their partner on the ground that their actions dont possess an iota of aggression in them. Most vexatious men lack a certain amount of empathy for their wives. Example: If I'm feeling stressed or low on a day, I may get at my wife in our conversations about the fact that she doesn't drive and doesn't want to drive. Generally speaking, men like talking to people they feel can understand them better. Communication is a vital part of every relationship that must be applied generously. 3. He spends less time at home. Just enter his name and location into the background checker to rule it out. He treats you poorly and says unkind things to you when you challenge him about it. If your husband loves compliments, hes not alone most people do! I think everyone that notified me, I replied too. My husband has both male and female friends who talk to him about relationships. I did the same thing it felt easier to NOT do what I needed to do, because it made the narcissist less angry with me if I could just do for him instead. Jokes over, we've been married for 18 yes and no doesn't know any of them. My husband, who left me twelve months ago, has revealed himself through his crushing, dishonest and thoroughly nasty actions as a fully-blown narcissist. Its certainly something that you shouldnt put up with, you should be his main priority and feel loved, valued, and appreciated. Narcissists dont have this ability. On the other hand, when you are going through challenges, he would not want the time to heal your inner wounds. This leads to their devaluing you (and in many cases, it can also lead to permanent or temporary discard but well get to that in a minute). If you continue your relationship with the narcissist: Seek therapy or outside support. Worse, it can happen over and over for literally decades in the same relationship. Whatever the reason, its something you need to talk about with him and try and find a way to help him feel more comfortable expressing his feelings towards you and complimenting you as much as everyone else! #8: They say you need to change. Mom is mean to me but not to anyone else. The person I was at 30 was ready for a long term relationship and marriage, the person I was at 22 sounds like your husband, yet I found myself in a relationship that would . When we do, he often berates me about any little thing and then acts like I am too . In a bid. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. Thanks for the advice. He Finds It Difficult to Express His Feelings Towards You, 8. Either way, this tool can stop the guessing games going on in your head right now. She loves to brag. If this is the case, I think your marriage stands a chance at redemption. Some men unknowingly are narcissistic in nature, they have this superior mentality that makes them feel they are better than everyone else. Mate, when would be a good time to . Whether it's an addiction, an affair, or poor performance in your life, many times, husbands point to their wives as the reason for their weakness. I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. When he begins to launch his laser abusive psychological attack you will be more than convinced that hes not the problem, and this will begin to make you start checking yourself to know what exactly is wrong with you. After bottling up years of this, there's only so much one can take, I just snapped and had enough and wanted no contact with his family. He wants to show his dominance. Even if your husband was a jerk to everyone this is not acceptable behavior in a partner. Subscribe and get a special email series from Angie - packed with free gifts to help you heal and evolve! I'm not exactly going around acting like a therapist to my friends and colleagues, but I am a good listener. 24+ Clean Comebacks for Bullies Thatll Make You Smile, Is My Boss a Narcissist Quiz (10 Questions to Help You Find Out! If youre worried that hes doing this because hes up to dodgy things behind your back, Id recommend downloading this online communications tracker tool. So, when they are mean and cruel to you, rather than acknowledging and admitting it and doing what they can to make up for it, narcissists will ignore you or worse, get even crueler and start to say things like, Why cant you ever be happy? and Oh, look, here comes the dark cloud. And speaking of the inability to create healthy attachments. But there is . He cannot hold a conversion with his wife without creating an atmosphere of avoidable hot arguments from it. Its not a nice feeling and its not the right way for your husband to express how dissatisfied he feels. When their partner complaints about their uncaring and savagery disposition towards them they often come up with lines like What the hell are you talking about Have never done anything to you. He extends it to the outsiders. Lucky you that means you are among the privileged few who get to see the true face of the narcissist. If this is the case, I think your marriage, is that he is not a narcissist, rather he is just dealing with bouts of anger stored up within. But for me, he was cruel and plain-old mean. Is there any chance you could go back to the NHS counsellor you saw before? 2. The one sacred thing for my husband is his family. It was obvious where his priorities were. Your husband doesn't seem to care about your issues. Dating A Deaf Person (7 Tips For Dating a Deaf Person), Bucket List for Couples (117 Bucket List Ideas for Couples), Values In A Relationship (41 Relationship Values Every Couple Should Have), Nitpicking In A Relationship (31 Tips To Stop Nitpicking), I Feel Disgusted When My Husband Touches Me (19 Possible Reasons), Saying Hurtful Things To Someone You Love (21 Hurtful Things You Should Never Say To Someone You Love), How To Become Emotionless (17 Ways To Become Emotionless), Are You on a Pity Date? John sits and stares at the floor. But he was always dismissive whenever I raised anything about his family's behavior towards me - exclusion, derogatory remarks from his mother, pressure to give them grandchildren, etc. From experience, when a man picks fights with you over petty issues, those are not the main issues bothering him. When their act of revenge starts playing out, thats the stage you usually find it difficult to connect the dots as to their reasons behind their mean behaviors towards you. With that said, lets now explore some of the other reasons why your husband might be treating you so badly. Rather than acknowledge the problem and tackle it head-on, some men transfer aggression to their wives and kids. My Husband Is Mean To Me And Nice To Everyone Else (19 Reasons), 19 Concrete Reasons Hes Being Mean To You. "My husband is a great leader even if he isn't leading the way I want him to.". Updated: Dec. 11, 2020. Long story short, I regretted it. Talk to your husband about it and call it out, and make it clear you want to work with him to address how he's feeling and see what you can both work out. Once youve made it clear how his behavior makes you feel, if he doesnt start to change his ways and show you more appreciation and prioritize making you feel special, the problem is a lot deeper. . But why are they then able to be kind to other people? He stops while we're together to very loudly . Sadness, loneliness, and anxiety. They believe it creates a debt that the other person owes them. You're Always the Problem (i.e. A lot of people don't even get that far. You are his wife; dont let him turn you into something you are not, no matter what stage you are in your life, its never too late to leave and find love with someone who truly cares about you. When you wrong these set of abusers, they wont show it in the face; instead, they stomach it and wait for the time they feel its convenient for them to revenge. As the spouse of a narcissist, I am the one with the problemthe one who is too sensitive, the one who cannot take a joke. His new default response is: "you can't change people, so just learn to deal with it". Most partners aren't abusive all the time, so it makes sense to think they could go back to being that "kind and loving" person and stay there. Try to be a supportive wife and stand by him through this trying time, while figuring out other medical and psychological means of help. On the rare occasion when we attend a social event together, he abandons me so he can "work the room" and have a great time with everyone else. Without much ado, lets delve into some of the reasons your husband is mean to you and nice to everyone else. On any other day, being the sole driver wouldn't bother me at all - in fact, I prefer being the driver and can't stand being a passenger! They can psychologically assault their partner so they don't even understand why they are so upset. What is NLP (Neurolinguistic Programming)? 5. Don't spell it out like that initially, but this is how you should be thinking about it. 1. Indifference. This could probably be the reason why your husband is always so vexatious towards you for one reason or the other. But he has no sympathy when I try to talk about it and just gets mad and shuts down. Have you noticed that your husband is treating you differently to everyone else, in a bad way? Get up and forget about it. This sounds like a red flag to me. It is also possible that he could be taking a cue from what he witnessed at a friends place. In most of these relationships, though, when a partner acts nice, it's really just that: an act. In fact, they are abusive and cruel as a way to punish you for no longer feeding their ego by expressing that you have wants and needs as well. It could just be a habit hes fallen into and once you point it out to him, hell start making more of an effort to equal things up. When there are no real issues in your marriage and your husband is contemptible towards you, the bottom line is that he is cheating on you. Or, it might just be a superficial thing and it makes him feel good to compliment people and see how much they appreciate it. The motive behind it is to get you to grow weary of the relationship and break things off. Your spouse might not be comfortable with your recent attitude or the kind of friends you roll with. (13 Ways Sex Affects Men Emotionally), Excuses to Get Out of The House to Cheat (13 Good Excuses), My Husband's Family Is Ruining Our Marriage (9 Wise Tips), Cushioning in Relationships (11 Signs You're Doing It Without Even Knowing ), My Boyfriend Accuses Me Of Everything (11 Possible Reasons), Breaking Up During Pregnancy (10 Vital Tips), Victim Mentality In Relationships (25 Signs Hes Playing The Victim), I Betrayed My Best Friend (10 Important Things). He is very rude to everyone in public - waiters, clerks, cashiers, etc. Survive, thrive and evolve with Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support from Certified Life Coach, author and survivor Angela Atkinson. When you dont focus your attention on his worries, he feels bad and might begin to start blaming you for his downfalls.

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